Time for something new.

I need something to do with my time now. Even though i have so much going on i need to fill all of my time. i have so much i need to say. and so much to vent and i think this is the perfect way to do so. i'm still trying to figure all of this out and i dont even know if this is going to show up!





Today wasn't a good day, even though it should have been since i had a day off of work. My relationship with Curtis is so hard. Some times i dont know why im still holding on. I used to think Love solved so much but now, i dont know. I love him, i'm head over heels in love with him. I want to make him so happy and do all i can for him at every chance. But i need more. i deserve more. And when i question why im not getting it, i get the run around.

I want to spend eternity with him. but my fault for that, is that i want it now.. and he doesn't. He thinks we should wait. He never gave me a vaild reasoning as to why...even though we both recieved our confirmations... well he says he has. but i honestly think if he did, he wouldn't want to wait. i don't know what to do anymore...im so so confused.